a Bee, to a Flower — "What time you open, Bud?"

Why were all the Ink Spots crying? — Because their Father was in the Pen!

How many Bentley Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? —
None... that's a Hardware problem!

from Randy – A man took his dog to the Vet. He said, "Doc, I think my dog is dead!"
The Vet told him to put the dog on the examination table and then left the room.
Soon he returned with a cat — the cat sniffed the dog's ears, his nose
and then walked all over him. Then the Vet said, "Yep, your dog is dead —
that'll be $535 dollars." The man said, "$535 dollars! What for?!"
"Well...", the Vet said, "$35 for the office visit and $500 for the Cat Scan."

from Bob – My wife called me this morning saying the power was out at the house
and asked, "How do I get the car out of the garage?" I explained about
the emergency release on the opener and how to work it — well, after that went
nowhere I made the quick trip home to get her out of the garage.
Before she left, though, she asked how to get back in if the power is still
out when she comes home at lunch-time. I told her to use the front door...
(and she's not even a blonde!)

A man hears a knock on the door, but when he answers, the only thing he sees
is a Snail sitting on the doormat — so he picks up the Snail and tosses it
back into the yard. Two years later there's another knock,
and when he answers, the Snail says, "What was that all about?!"

A Snail got himself beat up by a couple of Turtles, and after he
brushed himself off, went to the Police, who inquired,
"Did you get a good look at the Turtles who did this?" —
"No!", the Snail replied, "...it all happened so fast!